VOICES OF CENTRAL MAINE
A citizen access resource for residents of central Maine.

Dec

7

The TILBURY CHRONICLES #2 - Community Intellectuals

Filed Under All, Text, Tilbury Chronicles

by Bob Demers, Gardiner

Milo Ferguson is our Community Intellectual. He was elected to the post by a slim margin at last Spring’s town meeting on the basis of having read both of Edwin Arlington Robinson’s great plays “Van Zorn” and “The Porcupine”. This immediately distinguished him from all other contenders who had merely CONSIDERED reading a play. Marion, our town librarian, nominated Ferguson over the objections of Arlo Cheevy’s cousin Clyde. Clyde felt that neither “Van Zorn” nor “The Porcupine” qualified as a play. This immediately identified Clyde as a pseudo-intellectual and eliminated him as a candidate.

Sad to say, there’s a deep rooted anti-intellectualism rampant here in Tilbury. It manifests itself every Hallowe’en when the reigning Intellectual is found dangling head down fifty feet up on the Central Maine Power Company’s transmission tower which straddles the Little League ballfield at the north end of our island town. The “trick-or-treaters” are reasonably careful to avoid a fatal experience for the Intellectual, but their best plans aft gang astray.

One Hallowe’en a few years back Howard Hatfield, the then Community Intellectual was accidentally dangled across two wires of the 300,000 volt transmission lines on the tower and all that was left of Howard was a puff of white smoke which drifted through Tilbury Town for a week.

When a special election was called to replace Howard, his wife Sadie presented herself as a logical candidate. The Anti-Intellectuals quickly pointed out that a woman had never been elected to the post so Sadie backed off, wisely realizing that she was a poor loser and didn’t need the hassle. The Town Council eventually decided to leave the post vacant until Town Meeting the following March. A near-fatal decision. That was six years ago and Tilbury has all but recovered from the dreadful Winter of No Intellectual.

Comments

Leave a Reply